Adventures With Saito Haijime
by Ziggurat Rolsovitch
Summary: A series of oneshots focusing on moments from Saito's life, ranging from humor to sadness.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Adventures With Saito Hajime  
Category: Anime » Hakuoki  
Author: Ziggurat Rolsovitch  
Language: English  
Rating: T  
A/N: A series of oneshots with Saito.

* * *

Upon returning from patrol Saito dismissed his men and headed out back with a fresh bucket of water to wash away the blood of a robber from his face and hands. With a full moon it was all the light he needed to see while he kneeled before the bucket with a rag and removed the top of his uniform while washing the blood away from his skin. Some dry and flaky, some still wet and running. Proof of one large gash running along his side and a few smaller grazes here and there. He was used to this of course, by now it was unlikely that any of his skin was unmarred.

Beneath the moonlight the red blood seemed more like a dark black liquid tainting the clean water to something more sinister looking. He brought a hand up, it still smelled like blood… sometimes… it felt like the scent of blood never truly went away, but perhaps that was one of the many consequences of being a warrior; that the scent of blood would forever remain upon one's skin no matter how desperately one tried to wash it off.

He might be a silent man, but what he lacked vocally he made up for in thought and musings. He watched his own reflection in the water with veins of blood running through it, even after a pink petal rippled the water as it landed, but it was a reflection that only reminded him of his own rippling emotions in that moment. 

* * *

~Fin~


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Adventures With Saito Hajime  
Category: Anime » Hakuoki  
Author: Ziggurat Rolsovitch  
Language: English  
Rating: T  
A/N: A series of oneshots with Saito.

* * *

The third division captain stood silently regarding the cherry blossoms that were scattered by the stormy breeze that blew in. In this silent hour he was thinking about this strange feeling that had over taken him, yet that with which he could do nothing about.

He held one sword calloused hand out to catch a wet petal in his palm before bringing it to his chest and holding it near his heart. With this petal he was reminded of all the reasons that he could not love the person that he wanted to love. Because like this cherry blossom soon his life would end and his spirit would be scattered to the wind.

It felt so strange to him, this feeling in his heart. Somehow despite his own will he had fallen into a one sided love. He chose a life as a warrior. To fight. To become a murdered who would soon face the punishment. Once one took out a debt, it was only a matter of time before someone came collecting. Things would catch up with him. He accepted that and yet he couldn't stop this longing, but even if he wasn't a warrior and a murdered he knew that he could never be with her, because she loved someone else.

Of course… the Vice Commander was a warrior and murderer as well, but it was his choice if he decided to be with her. He just hoped the two of them would be happy at the very least. The Vice Commander was still someone he respected even if he admittedly felt jealous. Of course the Vice Commander was a much more handsome and intelligent man than he would ever be, so of course it made sense that she would look at the Vice Commander instead.

He felt his heart skip a little at merely the thought of her. How desperately he wanted to hold her. To fall asleep beside her every night and wake up next to her every morning. If he had that in his life what more could he ever ask for? A sigh left him, the more he thought about it the smaller pieces he felt his heart shatter into. His heart ached and for it hurt so terribly he felt as though he couldn't draw breath. The harshest slash of a sword could not compare to this pain in his heart.

No matter how close he stood to her, he would only ever be watching after her while she watched after the Vice Commander. She would never notice how his heart was breaking. She would never know how he loved her. She would never notice him… 

* * *

~Fin~


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Adventures With Saito Hajime  
Category: Anime » Hakuoki  
Author: Ziggurat Rolsovitch  
Language: English  
Rating: T  
A/N: A series of oneshots with Saito.

* * *

Saito paced back and forth, back and forth repeating the same words over and over. "Doshiyo…" He glanced over at the child sitting before him, blowing spit bubbles all over himself. He was alone. He was alone with a baby! It couldn't possibly get any more terrifying. The baby thew his rattle on the ground and then there was a silence before he realized he didn't have it and started crying loudly. "No! Shhh, don't cry! Please!" He said in a panic, picking up the rattle and giving it back. The crying stopped and the baby smiled and for only a second Saito could relax before he dropped it again. Saito thought babies must not have very good grip and picked it up and handed it back. That was when it happened. The child gave him the most evil smile Saito had ever seen in all his years and threw the rattle onto the ground. Cautiously Saito picked it up and the baby broke into giggles before throwing it again. "Y-y-you're doing it on purpose…? What are you even doing? Please stop." He handed it back and the baby held it… only for a few moments before that smile came again and he thew it onto the floor. Saito's eyes widened… this baby was having his fun with him… and he was at the baby's complete mercy… he had to play this little guy's game. For now… until the mother came back… tomorrow… "Doshiyo…" 

* * *

~Fin~


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Adventures With Saito Hajime  
Category: Anime » Hakuoki  
Author: Ziggurat Rolsovitch  
Language: English  
Rating: T  
A/N: A series of oneshots with Saito.

* * *

They had fought so hard, yet the houses around him still burned. Despite all their best efforts the village had been set ablaze. The New Government's way of punishing the people for not bending to their will.

Through the suffocating smoke he couldn't tell if it was snow or ashes falling, but once he passed one house and the wind shifted he felt it to be both. It was strange… he didn't feel cold. In fact he didn't even feel pain from the bullet that had shattered his bones and entered into his chest, he didn't know if it remained or if it had passed through the other side or not. The only thing he knew was that he was too tired to keep going anymore. Swords could not beat guns. They could not cross long distances like bullets. Samurai were obsolete now, his life was no longer required.

His trail of blood in the snow finally came to an end at the flag, where he collapsed and stared up at the sky, he wished that he could see it one last time, but he had given it his all… and this was as good a place to die as any. Ah… that was right… he would be joining Souji soon… he had missed that sense of humor. The vice commander, he wished that he could ask him if he thought that he did a good job as well.

Through the blurred vision of dull eyes, he caught a figure. He didn't know if his eyes deceived him or if Yukimura was actually standing there before his eyes. Somehow, whither it was real or not he felt glad, as the person that kept him company when he was lonely and needed someone she would be the one to be there. He wouldn't say friend, only because the word friend seemed too weak as friends weren't people that stayed by your side or were loyal. He would call Yukimura a comrade.

The battle was over, they had lost and he had not even the strength to lift a single finger and so it took awhile of swallowing his own blood back before he could speak.

"… You foolish woman… why… are you… in a dangerous place like this? You… should run away… no. Don't stand there and cry." He spoke very slowly, since he was so tired, so tired, unaware that his eyes were gradually losing their light more and more. "Wait… before you go… before… I go… I want to… say the words… thank you… when I needed someone there… you were there… even without saying words… your presence still… warmed the cold space… of loneliness… thank you. Thank you… for just… being there…" His breathing hitched upon his last words and as his head lulled to one side and his eyes slowly slid closed, one last foggy breath left him, taking his life with it.

* * *

~Fin~


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Adventures With Saito Hajime  
Category: Anime » Hakuoki  
Author: Ziggurat Rolsovitch  
Language: English  
Rating: T  
A/N: A series of oneshots with Saito.

* * *

It was the Battle of Bonari Pass, which decided his fate. When Hijikata decided to retreat from Aizu and Saito parted with him, determined to fight with the Aizu army, where his loyalties and gratitude remained, until the very end. He thought that the battle would be his end, that he'd die in glorious battle, but instead he had been wounded and captured along with his men, forced into a detention camp to spend the remainder of the war there.

Many men, at hearing of Hijikata's death wept and grieved as if losing their own father, but Saito himself… he had always been a young man with a mountain of expectations hefted onto his shoulders. A quiet and calm individual who had to keep a stoic look on his face at all times; unable to remove the mask to maintain the utmost etiquette, did not shed a tear, but rather grieved silently. Eventually, he and his men were released, being forced to ask 'forgiveness for their sins against the New Government' as the terms. It was a bitter pill to swallow.

Unfortunately in his time of grief he had taken up to drinking, though he was a man that liked his drink, due to his complicated past, he'd taken it up much more heavily than he had previously. He often found himself at a nearby drinking facility, drowning himself in a cup of sake. Saito often found himself wondering if perhaps he had fought harder things would be different.

He was alive and his comrades were dead. He felt so _ashamed_ of that fact.

* * *

~Fin~


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Adventures With Saito Hajime  
Category: Anime » Hakuoki  
Author: Ziggurat Rolsovitch  
Language: English  
Rating: T  
A/N: A series of oneshots with Saito.

* * *

_"You look lonely." _

Those were the words that the young geiko had said to him as she poured his drink, before leaving him to him on his own as he had requested and of course once he was sufficiently drunk. Lonely… were those the words to describe this feeling that he had? Ever since the war ended in a victory for the new government and he had finally finished serving his time in the P.O.W camp he had attempted to find what had become of the Shinsengumi, only to discover… that all of his friends were gone and dead. He had traveled several places before ending up here. Getting drunk seemed like the only thing he had left anymore. He missed his old life with the Shinsengumi, he missed his best friend Souji, his mentors Kondo and Hijikata. He missed Yamazaki, Heisuke, Harada, Nagakura and Yukimura. The only thing left for him now seemed to be to drown himself in cup after cup of sake until he was so numb he wouldn't even care anymore, until he passed out, only to repeat the process the next day.

He was…

_He** was **lonely…_

* * *

~Fin~


End file.
